Sometimes Giving Yourself GRACE
Is the best that you can do NOW!
Divorce is really a trying time, everyone in the family unit is experiencing the same grief cycle as when you lose a loved one. And sometimes it can feel overwhelming, too much, or as if nothing is going your way.
In my most recent Dad & Stepdad Support Group meeting we had a dad who was taking time for himself by going Skydiving. He finds this activity to be a helpful outlet for him to put his life in focus as his divorce and co-parenting dynamic has been stressful!
He messaged me afterwards to say that while the Sky Dive was amazing when he landed on the beach, he landed in a beehive and was stung 10 times! He is feeling like he just can’t catch a break! I said to him those are the Laugh or Cry moments!
What I really meant by this statement is when you realize that you have no control of what is going on in the moment you have a choice….you can either accept the moment and the irony of it or cry and really get consumed by all of it.
I’m pretty sure most divorcing parents feel this at some time in their divorce and co-parenting relationship!
In fact, divorce is a time when many people become so overwhelmed by what’s happening to them that they become completely misaligned with themselves and random mishaps begin: getting stung 10 times by bees, getting in car accidents or speeding tickets, mistakes at work, and I’m sure you’ve heard many more of these stories.
There’s this movie: Failure to Launch where Matthew McConaughey’s character Tripp, is a 35-year-old man still living with his parents. As Tripp is seeking to navigate his life, his friend Demo comments to him that Tripp is the only human being to ever have been attacked by a dolphin, lizard, and an aggressive chipmunk all in the same year. Demo goes on to say to Tripp that maybe nature was trying to show Tripp that he was completely misaligned with himself and going at life all wrong! Demo then said that maybe Tripp had to just give in, forgive himself, and accept that it was time to allow someone into his life again.
Going through Divorce (and hard life transitions) is the same, it’s about slowing things down, figuring out what we really need for ourselves, accepting the sadness that comes with the loss of the family unit, letting go of the things that aren’t serving us, and giving ourselves some GRACE!
Some people going through divorce can do this on their own and are able to negotiate the ‘uncoupling’ of the marriage with the guidance of legal professionals.
Others need more, they could really use a Guide (or Sherpa) to help them navigate through their divorce, help them find their center, remind them to give themselves grace, help them find what they want for their future life, and help them find the right professionals to support them along the way. I think of it as having your own personal ‘Divorce’ Guide. As a divorce coach and personal Divorce Guide, I support you move through the divorce process, your emotions, and help you find the path to your new life. By doing so you are not only more prepared for your new life, you have also made your entire divorce process smoother, easier, and less costly because you have been able to keep your eye on the things that matter most to you.
How do you know if you or someone you know needs more support? Here are some things to observe about yourself:
- You’re sharing all of your emotions when you are speaking with your attorney.
- You’re feeling confused and in a fog most of the time.
- You just can’t seem to do anything you are supposed to be doing right now.
- You’re feeling stuck or are having a hard time seeing any possible future path.
- You have had little experience with finance and business negotiations (maybe you are a teacher, a medical worker, a creative, or have another career where you focus on helping others).
- You have been the stay-at-home parent in the relationship.
- You feel as though your ‘soon to be ex’ is high-conflict or out of the blue they are making unfounded claims about you.
- You are terrified about the divorce and don’t know where to start.
If you or someone you know is here right now I want you to know that the divorce process is very hard for everyone and you are not alone! Each person (even your children) will have their own emotional divorce experience and it is important to give yourself GRACE!
As a divorce, parenting, and co-parenting coach, I support healthy parents navigate their divorce and co-parenting business relationship so that they, their children, and their family are able to have a happy, healthy, thriving future life! If you or someone you know feels as though you need more support I would encourage you to reach out and schedule a FREE Strategy Session with me to find the 1 thing that will help you the most in moving forward and into your Future New Life!
warmly,
~janet